Stuck in writing

April 14, 2014  |  ibrainmapadmin

This is for all those who emailed me and said they were feeling stuck in their writing question of “what do I really want?”

Below are some writing reorientations that you could try if you feel stuck, but try some of your own, like dialoging with the stuck parts, or feelings of frustration that emerge.

The challenge is to create a different orientation to the experience. Instead of being “in” it, find a way to step outside it or meet the experience in a different way. Here is one of my writing days that might be helpful as a guide.

What do I really want?

……. I want to write about writing……. I want to go to the desert and only have minimal stuff and not carry a heap of responsibilities or burdens….. I really want to sell my house. …

Focus is external, things in the world – attached to outcomes or “other” that I can’t control. I feel powerless and frustrated when I focus on something outside myself that I want yet have no control over, like selling my house.

So if you find yourself focusing on external wants, drill down into what it is you want about that want, to shift attention to a more internal orientation.

I want to sell my house (external orientation) and I have taken all the steps I need to sell it. I’ve done everything I can do for that want. I take the steps needed to create that outcome but when there is nothing more I can do I will only feel frustrated and powerless if I continue to focus on that outcome, and my wanting.

Instead ask, what is the want in this want?

I want to be unencumbered financially. I don’t want to be tied to a mortgage or other financial responsibilities……. this is not a want, but a negative – what I don’t want. So I need to shift orientation towards a positive want.

Ask, what is the positive-tangible (glass half full) want, not the negative-lack (glass half empty) not-want?

I want freedom.

Freedom is a big word that is hard to pin down or get a hold of in any real way. Track it down to more tangible, accessible qualities, behaviors, emotions, needs and wants.

Ask, what does freedom (or other big vague word) mean to me?

Or, what is it about freedom that I really want?

I want choice.

About what?

About where I live and work and how I work.

Anything else? (keep drilling down).

I want flexibility. I want to be open to change as my book and i-brainmap emerge in the world. I want to be open to respond to any new understanding that comes about my book and i-brainmap and how people respond to it. And be free to respond to my own changing wants and needs.

What is it that you really want about that? (keep going down)

Or, what would that give you? (find other orientation questions)

Freedom, (still vague, but a very strong theme that I could write into).

Freedom at the moment means to find a flow between myself and the world. I am coming into the world in a new way. I don’t want to feel pinned down by old baggage, old maps, that no longer fit my current context.

I want to be in dialogue with the world. Listen to what the world is whispering and sometimes screaming at me. And at the same time tuning in to my own changing wants and needs, finding, and stepping into, this dance between the two.

I want to find or create flow in my life. I don’t want to be stuck and bored in routines that no longer fit who I’m becoming (maybe negative-lack?). I want to be free to step into what feels right… as this next phase of my life emerges.

Sometimes themes keep repeating, let yourself keep writing and finding ways to move in closer and deeper. Being curious about what emerges, without judging or censoring.

To do this I need to develop qualities of…..?

Trust and openness.

To be able to live with the uncertainty of not knowing what will emerge or where my journey, my life, will take me. I want to trust what is emerging in me and for me in the world and listen to the quiet voice within.

True freedom for me isn’t about what I want in the world but what is in my heart, and that feels, as yet, unformed. All I know is that at this moment it smacks of freedom, like the eagle gliding effortlessly across a blue sky, that is my deepest longing. And it means leaving what I know, clearing away and making space for what is coming, and living into that space for a time is what feels right for me now.

While this is still vague and I don’t have an action to take it is a different orientation to the question. Instead of it being about selling a house it is much more an orientation to a deeper question about what I value and what is important to me at the moment. This orientation gives me a focus on my relationship with myself and my emerging wants and needs. It also gives me a sense of being in process, flow, that I am moving through something rather than stuck on a particular outcome.

In short I am more connected to my self and what is emerging which is a much freer orientation than when I started writing my question.